24/7 life of a carer

arthur+martha is working at a 'Buddy Cafe' for people diagnosed with dementia - and their carers - in Salford. We're bringing together the stories of the many people involved. Some of these pieces are interviews, others creative work.  This project is in partnership with Age Concern Salford and Salford PCT. 


Yesterday we witnessed as the services provided by Age Concern Salford, gave Paul an opportunity to sit at a different table from Pauline- the first time in 5 years she's left his side.

Paul

I haven't got any respite, I suppose I could get it I wanted, but she would kick of big time.

I bring her down here or the Humphrey Booth Centre on a Tuesday. She seems to enjoy it, but if I told her we were going here she'd kick off, she wouldn't go. Sometimes I feel it, sometimes I don't. I have a gym in the back room, that helps.

This is the second time round for me. Me mum had it. She died two years ago. My brother was her main carer, but he died and me dad died.

You can't switch off. Denise (from Age Concern Salford) has done more for Pauline than anyone. She seems to have a bit of a bond with Denise. She knows she's someone, knows she can trust her. I trust her. She tells you how it is. A friendship. They have a really good team (Age Concern Salford) they know what their doing, if they can help with anything they will help.

(whilst we are speaking Pauline is sat at the other end of the room, Paul and Pauline seem very aware of each other, they regularly exchange looks) That's the first time in 5 years she's been left alone with people. She's just put 2 fingers up to me, she seems ok. It's what I'm looking for, for her to settle into something like this so that I can have time to myself.

Pauline can't take anything in. I don't take any notice when she goes off on one, I know its not her. She follows me 24/7. She's kicking off now, because she saw me.